On Her Knees 43

Ever heard of British Bingo? Yea, me neither. Not until last night.

I rarely go out during the week anymore due to my poor financial situation, exhaustion after work and work outs, weekend recovery, my tendency to have more than "just a few drinks," and just life in general. So when I do, I like to make it count.

A couple of coworkers and I had planned on getting dinner and much needed drinks this week. I should have known that it was going to be a bad idea to go to Local. It always is. Something always happens and the wait staff always hates us. Last night was no different.

**Example of what normally happens at Local:

-Me and three guys playing bar Jenga with pre-written commands such as, not a joke, "Kiss Meredith," "Lick Meredith," "Hit Meredith," "Buy a round of shots," "Do the Moonwalk," "Buy a round of drinks," "Flash everyone at the bar,"  etc. After an hour of playing, 12 rounds of shots, 5 rounds of drinks, 4 broken beer bottles, beer-soaked clothing, and a $400+ bar tab all before 9:00, our waitress informs us that we have been cut off by the bartender. Fuck it. From there we went to Raifords and I sneak out and get a huge ass tattoo on my foot with out telling anyone.

Well, last night wasn't quite as eventful. But as soon as Felix and I walked in and sat down with my coworkers, I quickly threw my hand up to smooth my hair down, slammed the beer that was in the waitress's hand behind my head, and had beer poured all over me. It was her first night. She freaked, but I calmly wiped the beer from me and made some joke like, "You can lick it from between my legs," to my coworker who now had half of a beer. After that mess was cleaned up, Felix got the wrong order and the wait staff quickly closed our tabs with out asking us and gave us the impression that we needed to get the fuck out. So rude.

My coworker, Hotlanta, made the executive decision that Brass Door, an Irish pub, was our next stop. Having never been there, I was excited about checking out a new watering hole. Well, low and behold, we stumbled upon British Bingo and $3 wine night. I didn't have a fucking clue what British Bingo was, but I sure as hell know what $3 wine is...a Christmas day miracle in Memphis...even if it is out of a box. Well, I love any type of bar game, and after inquiring about this foreign form of bingo, I was on my way towards hopefully winning a bar tab. I never win anything, so my odds are like zero.

British Bingo doesn't make sense only because it is stupidly simple. You get a playing card and a marker. Then this British guy calls out numbers, you mark them off, and if all of your numbers are called, you yell, "BINGO!"

The best part is that instead of saying "43," he says little phrases like, "On her knees, 43." My favorites:

"Sexy Legs 11"
"Was she worth it? 76"
"Number 8, Garden Gate"
"Two Little Ducks 22" then everyone at the bar says Quack Quack!

I didn't realize that the sayings meant anything until I googled British Bingo this morning. But, they do. I won't go in to it, but I will throw the link at the bottom of the post if you're interested.

Anyway, I ended up actually winning a round and a $20 bar tab. Of course, I was shocked and yelled, "OOOOHHHH MYY GODDDDD!!!! BINGO!" How embarrassing. I couldn't quit laughing. From there, Hotlanta won the last round and a $40 bar tab. Thank God we didn't have to use them all last night, because that would have taken awhile with $3 wine.

Needless to say, we'll be back for more British Bingo.

Cheerio Good Chaps,

Merekat

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_British_bingo_nicknames
http://thebrassdoor.com/