Americaaaaaa Fuck YEAH!

And now for what you've all been waiting for....drum roll please......$40 each, a trip to Goodwill, a couple rolls of sushi, and a few glasses of Mezzacorona Pinot Grigio later, we give you....AMERICAN FLAG JORTS!

Final Products

Final Product

Since yesterday, I have had several texts and Facebook posts regarding these jorts...SO, here is a list of what we bought from Michael's and gathered from Thrift Stores/our closets.

Spray Fabric Paint (Red, White, and Blue)
Mini American Flags
Star Stencils
Duct tape
Mom jeans from Goodwill (light and dark jeans...one pair was J Crew...I don't think I was born when those jeans were sold at J Crew)
Random denim from my closet (Navy polka dot shorts from Old Navy, a favorite pair of American Eagle, jr. high, used-to-be-jeans-but-have-been-jorts-for-years, and a long sleeved, stained, denim shirt turned sweet ass vest)

1. If you are starting out with a pair of jeans, get a marker and draw a line about two inches below your crotch region...maybe 4 inches for guys.
2. Using scissors or a straight razor, cut jeans off at line. Don't worry if you fucked up and it isn't cut straight. You'll want to wash these after the paint dries so the ends will be frayed.
3. Place stripes on the front, right side of your new jorts using strips of duct tape cut about 1 1/2 inches thick.
4. Spray red or white paint (depending on how true you want to be to old faithful) on the duct tape. 
5. Using the star stencil, spray white or blue paint on the front, left side of your jorts.
6. Let dry and rip off tape for perfect stripes.
7. If you want to add detail to the back pockets, trace and cut out a pocket-sized piece of flag fabric to sew on.
8. Rock your new American Flag Jorts and make everyone jealous.

C-Baby is a bit of an OCD, perfectionist, so naturally her pair of jorts look a whole hell of a lot better than mine. But, all in all, I think we did a damn good job. I ended up with two pairs of jorts and my stars and stripes vest to sport not only on the 4th, but all fucking summer long. C-Baby only has one pair. She takes too damn long to craft.

C-Babys Goodwill, Mom Jeans pre-cutoff

Here, I cut out and sewed on a
piece of a mini flag on the back pocket

You're welcome.

Honey