Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Verizon Wireless Customer Service

When Tusk sent this conversation to me via Yahoo Messenger, I was terrified and thought that it was from a sex chat site. Thank God it was only him dicking around at work and fucking with an semi-automated Verizon Wireless Sales Rep.



You are now chatting with 'LaTesha'

LaTesha: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service.  May I help you with your order today?

LaTesha: I haven't heard from you in a while.  Would you like to continue chatting?

TUSK: what are the limitations to MIFI?

LaTesha: We offer the 5gb data package for $50 per month and the 10gb data package for $80 per month

TUSK: will MIFI work in the 38465 zip code?

LaTesha: Would you mind holding for a moment while I check that information?

LaTesha: Yes you will have coverage.

LaTesha: Hi, I'm just checking in, how is everything going?

TUSK: what if i am deep in the woods? would i have service there?

LaTesha: You should have service there as well, however I am unable to check, however we do offer the 14 day worry free guarantee where you can try it out yourself.

TUSK: wow, that's terrific. a few more queries. On grid internet can be tracked by the government. would the black helicopters go away if i get your service?

LaTesha: This device also can be tracked because of the IP address

TUSK: i understand... what about EMPs... my bunker is resistant to them, would that interfere with signal reception?

LaTesha: If you have phone service with your phone in your bunker you will have service with the jetpack
On the dry erase board at work this morning

TUSK: but i dont want hardlines coming into my house as that would allow zombies and such to locate me. can we not do all this wireless?

LaTesha: Are you wanting to set up services today with your jetpack, you can try out the service to see how well it will benefit you

TUSK: sure, will you take FMJ ammunition or perhaps some livestock in trade? I'm on the barter system as the world's economy is surely to soon collapse...

TUSK: GOTTA GO! I hear choppers... OUT!


1 comment:


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